She came out of her beauty shop on to the small porch. Her husband had built the shop for her in the front of the house. The beauty shop side of the house was painted pink. She was a stout red head with huge knockers. She had the superstructure that could support the burden. She also had the wide steel braced bras that she had caught the boys next door inspecting on her clothesline. Once, she had tried to hang two of her bras on the clothesline at the same time. The bras and clothesline sailed into the neighbor's yard; the neighbor boy's dad Fred kept one. She had heard rumors that he used it as a rain hat while coon hunting. She wasn't really a red head but she kept trying.
One of her clients came out to join her as she lit up a Chesterfield. Both of them were watching Fred, next-door working on the front of his wife's dodge ram. "Wonder what Fred is up to now?"
Big Red knows, "Fred's replacing the lights on his wife's car. She busted them out making a high speed run down to the river last night."
The client waved to Fred, Big Red said, "He won't wave back, he's on yard restriction after the pontoon poker game last night."
The hair client leaned back against the rail and stated, "Ok, I want the whole story and don't leave anything out."
Big Red states, "Fred's real good with his hands."
"Yeah I've heard that said about Fred."
"See his house over there. He built it entirely by himself, layed every block. The screened in porch took him about five years to build. He sleeps out there all summer. Mac, his wife doesn't mind. She says that Fred stinks, and puts tracks in her sheets. I don't mind the man smell. They all stink good to me, some better then others."
"One night I snuck over but Fred was out cat fishing on his pontoon boat. But I didn't know that. I slid into his stinking lair and mounted his son who was sleeping there. The lad had some wild dreams that night, he kept yelling for help, thought he was being suffocated."
"I watch for the pontoon boat now, Fred made it out of steel barrels. He got the barrels from where he works, he used my husband's welder and Mac's coat hangers as rods to build it."
The client with the big rollers in her head says, "That's where you play poker, on Fred's home made pontoon boat?"
"Yeah, first time last night."
"How did this get started?"
"Have you noticed the top of Mabel's pine tree is broke?" As she points at it. "Well, me and her and Gert, whose husbands all work second shift, get together and play cards every Friday night."
"I take it Mac is not one of the players"
"You got that right, she works nights as a waitress, so that means Fred's sniffing around while Mac's at work."
"We started using the upstairs sunroom in Mabel's house for the poker games. Fred was climbing up the pine tree and looking in through the limbs, he told us later he was playing the hoot owl game, trying to scare us, we heard the hooting but he gave himself away by leaving beer cans in the tree. So the next week, with the first hoot, we all went over to the window and showed our tit's. He broke out the top of the tree and damn near his leg, as he hooted all the way to the ground."
"We nursed him with whiskey, and he has become our fourth card player. I like being his partner. He has good hands."
Fred volunteered to host the next poker game on his pontoon boat in the river behind the house. Fred anchored out in the channel and had inner tubes for everyone. He made some giant floating cards out of white foam. The pontoon boat was loaded down with booze.
"But, Mac came home early last night while our poker game was going full blast. Mac would have thought Fred was out smelling like a catfish, since the pontoon boat was gone, but she could hear us calling for cards, echoing the big game."
Mac cruised down to the riverbank with her lights off and observed the inner tube silhouettes. She hit her headlights, the silent movie with black crème filled donuts and doe eyed pale skinned poker players, waited as she said: "Deal me in. You son of a bitch."
"Wow that's great, what did Fred say?"
"Fred offered her an inner tube."
She said, "She didn't need one, she would be right back."
Mac drove up to the road to build up speed for her launch into the game. As she got closer to the river, light bounces picked up inner tubes churning, and some good poker hands mingling downstream. The high-speed vibration of the yard run broke out first one headlight then the other. The light show ended.
The roller headed client said. "Whew, I'd like to get into one of those poker games, but I don't have a bathing suit"
"Bathing suit! What the hell are you talking about?"
Big Red looked across the yard at Fred. He had looked up and was smiling, but she knew he didn't hear a damn thing. His ears were damaged in the big war, plus the added attraction, he was figuring out how to stack the deck to give everyone good hands at the next pontoon poker game.
One of her clients came out to join her as she lit up a Chesterfield. Both of them were watching Fred, next-door working on the front of his wife's dodge ram. "Wonder what Fred is up to now?"
Big Red knows, "Fred's replacing the lights on his wife's car. She busted them out making a high speed run down to the river last night."
The client waved to Fred, Big Red said, "He won't wave back, he's on yard restriction after the pontoon poker game last night."
The hair client leaned back against the rail and stated, "Ok, I want the whole story and don't leave anything out."
Big Red states, "Fred's real good with his hands."
"Yeah I've heard that said about Fred."
"See his house over there. He built it entirely by himself, layed every block. The screened in porch took him about five years to build. He sleeps out there all summer. Mac, his wife doesn't mind. She says that Fred stinks, and puts tracks in her sheets. I don't mind the man smell. They all stink good to me, some better then others."
"One night I snuck over but Fred was out cat fishing on his pontoon boat. But I didn't know that. I slid into his stinking lair and mounted his son who was sleeping there. The lad had some wild dreams that night, he kept yelling for help, thought he was being suffocated."
"I watch for the pontoon boat now, Fred made it out of steel barrels. He got the barrels from where he works, he used my husband's welder and Mac's coat hangers as rods to build it."
The client with the big rollers in her head says, "That's where you play poker, on Fred's home made pontoon boat?"
"Yeah, first time last night."
"How did this get started?"
"Have you noticed the top of Mabel's pine tree is broke?" As she points at it. "Well, me and her and Gert, whose husbands all work second shift, get together and play cards every Friday night."
"I take it Mac is not one of the players"
"You got that right, she works nights as a waitress, so that means Fred's sniffing around while Mac's at work."
"We started using the upstairs sunroom in Mabel's house for the poker games. Fred was climbing up the pine tree and looking in through the limbs, he told us later he was playing the hoot owl game, trying to scare us, we heard the hooting but he gave himself away by leaving beer cans in the tree. So the next week, with the first hoot, we all went over to the window and showed our tit's. He broke out the top of the tree and damn near his leg, as he hooted all the way to the ground."
"We nursed him with whiskey, and he has become our fourth card player. I like being his partner. He has good hands."
Fred volunteered to host the next poker game on his pontoon boat in the river behind the house. Fred anchored out in the channel and had inner tubes for everyone. He made some giant floating cards out of white foam. The pontoon boat was loaded down with booze.
"But, Mac came home early last night while our poker game was going full blast. Mac would have thought Fred was out smelling like a catfish, since the pontoon boat was gone, but she could hear us calling for cards, echoing the big game."
Mac cruised down to the riverbank with her lights off and observed the inner tube silhouettes. She hit her headlights, the silent movie with black crème filled donuts and doe eyed pale skinned poker players, waited as she said: "Deal me in. You son of a bitch."
"Wow that's great, what did Fred say?"
"Fred offered her an inner tube."
She said, "She didn't need one, she would be right back."
Mac drove up to the road to build up speed for her launch into the game. As she got closer to the river, light bounces picked up inner tubes churning, and some good poker hands mingling downstream. The high-speed vibration of the yard run broke out first one headlight then the other. The light show ended.
The roller headed client said. "Whew, I'd like to get into one of those poker games, but I don't have a bathing suit"
"Bathing suit! What the hell are you talking about?"
Big Red looked across the yard at Fred. He had looked up and was smiling, but she knew he didn't hear a damn thing. His ears were damaged in the big war, plus the added attraction, he was figuring out how to stack the deck to give everyone good hands at the next pontoon poker game.
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